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Monday, February 15th, 2010

    Time Event
    12:40a
    He turned his attention to his food and let me...
    He turned his attention to his food and let me stewIan was nice that way–always trying to
    give me what I wanted, even when what I wanted was unclear to either of usHis insistent
    attempts to distract me from the present anxiety excepted, of courseI knew I didn't wantthatI
    wanted to worry; it was the only thing I could do
    It had been a month since I'd moved back into Jamie and Jared's roomFor three weeks of that
    time, the four of us had lived togetherJared slept on a mattress wedged above the head of the
    bed where Jamie and I slept
    I'd gotten used to it–the sleeping part, at least; I was tiffany heart drop earrings having a hard time sleeping now in the
    empty roomI missed the sound of two other bodies breathing
    I hadn't gotten used to waking up every morning with Jared thereIt still took me a second too
    long to return his morning greetingHe was not at ease, either, but he was always politeWe
    were both very polite
    It was almost scripted at this point
    “Good morning, Wanda, how did you sleep?”
    “Fine, thank you, and you?”
    “Fine, thanksAnd… Mel?”
    “She's good, too, thanks
    Jamie's constant state of euphoria and his happy chattering kept things from becoming too
    strainedHe talked about–and to–Melanie balenciaga whistle bag often, until her name was no longer the source of
    stress it had once been when Jared was presentEvery day, it got a little bit more comfortable,
    the pattern of my life here a little bit more pleasant
    We were… sort of happy
    And then, a week ago, Jared had left for another short raid–mostly to replace broken tools–and
    taken Jamie with him
    “You tired?” Ian asked
    I realized I was rubbing at my eyes
    “Still not sleeping well?”
    “It's too quiet
    “I could sleep with you–Oh, calm down, MelanieYou know what I meant
    Ian always noticed when Melanie's antagonism made me cringe
    “I thought they were going cartier santos 100 xl men watch to be back today,” I challengedI guess there's no need for rearranging
    “Maybe you should take the afternoon off
    “Don't be silly,” I told him“I've got plenty of energy for work
    He grinned as though I'd said something that pleased himSomething he'd been hoping I would
    sayI could use some help with a project
    “What's the project?”
    “I'll show you–you finished there?”
    I nodded
    He took my hand as he led me out of the kitchenAgain, this was so common that Melanie
    barely protested
    “Why are we going this way?” The eastern field did not need attentionWe'd been part of the
    group that had louis vuitton fabrics irrigated it this morningHe was still grinning
    He led me down the eastern tunnel, past the field and into the corridor that led to only one
    placeAs soon as we were in the tunnel, I could hear voices echoing and a sporadicthud, thud
    that it took me a moment to placeThe stale, bitter sulfur odor helped link the sound to the
    memory
    “Ian, I'm not in the mood
    “You said you had plenty of energy
    “But Lily and Wes will be really disappointedI promised them a game of two-on-twoThey
    worked so hard this morning to free up the afternoon…”
    “Don't try to make me feel guilty,” I said as we rounded the last white paddington chloe inspired bag cur

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