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Monday, May 31st, 2010

    Time Event
    12:25a
    It’s not like the Jackal to leave an obvious...
    It’s not like the Jackal to leave an
    obvious hole like that
    “The Jackal? You think it’s Carlos himself?”
    “Not him, of course, but someone on his payroll, someone so unlikely he could carry a sign
    around his neck with the Jackal’s name on it and we wouldn’t believe him
    “Chinese?”
    Robert Ludlum ?? THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
    37
    “MaybeHe might play that out and then he might notHe’s geometric; whatever he does is
    logical, even his logic seems illogical
    “I hear a man from the past, a man who never was
    Conklin looked toward the door of the apartment, David’s words suddenly provoking another
    thought“Where’s your suitcase?” he asked“You brought some clothes, didn’t you?”
    “No clothes, and these will be dropped in a Washington sewer once I have othersBut first I
    have to see another old friend of mine, another genius who lives in the wrong section of town
    “Let me guess,” said the retired agent“An elderly black man with the improbable name of
    Cactus, a genius where false papers such as passports and driver’s licenses and credit cards are
    concerned
    “The Agency could do it all
    “Not as well and too bureaucraticallyI want nothing traceable, even with Four Zero securityThen what?”
    “You get to work, dior rasta bag field manBy tomorrow morning I want a lot of people in this town shaken
    up? That is impossible!”
    “Not for youNot for Saint Alex, the prince of dark operations?”
    “Say whatever the hell you like, I’m not even in training
    “It comes back quickly, like sex and riding a bicycle
    “What about you? What are you going to do?”
    “After I consult with Cactus, I’ll get a room at the Mayflower hotel,” answered Jason Bourne
    Culver Parnell, hotel magnate from Atlanta whose twenty-year reign in the hostelry business had
    led to his appointment as chief of protocol for the White House, angrily hung up his office phone as
    he scribbled a sixth obscenity on a legal padWith the election and now the turnover of White
    House personnel, he had replaced the previous administration’s well-born female who knew
    nothing about the political ramifications of 1600’s invitation listThen, to his profound irritation,
    he found himself at war with his own first assistant, another middle-aged female, also from one of
    the ass-elegant Eastern colleges, and, to make it worse, a popular Washington socialite who
    contributed her salary to some la-di-da dance company whose members pranced around in their
    underwear when they wore borse gucci any
    “Hog damn!” fumed Culver, running his hand through his fringed gray hair; he picked up the
    telephone and poked four digits on his console“Gimme the Redhead, you sweet thing,” he
    intoned, exaggerating his already pronounced Georgia accent
    “Yes, sir,” said the flattered secretary“He’s on another line but I’ll interruptJust hold on a sec,
    Mr
    “You’re the loveliest of the peaches, lovely child
    “Oh, golly, thank you! Now just hold on
    It never failed, mused CulverA little soft oil from the magnolia worked a hell of a lot better
    than the bark of a gnarled oakThat bitch of a first assistant of his might take a lesson from her
    Southern superiors; she talked like some Yankee dentist had bonded her fucking teeth together with
    permanent cement
    Robert Ludlum ?? THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
    38
    “That you, Cull?” came the voice of Redhead over the line, intruding on Parnell’s thoughts as he
    wrote a seventh obscenity on the legal pad
    “You’re momma-letchin’ right, boy, and we got a problem! The fricassee bitch is doin’ it again
    I got our Wall Streeters inked in for a table at the reception on the twenty-fifth, the one for the new
    French ambassador and she says we gotta bump ’em for some core-dee-ballet chanel shopping bag fruitcakes—she says
    she and the First Lady feel mighty strong about itShee-it! Those money boys gotta lot of French
    interests goin’ for them, and this White House bash could put ’em on topEvery frog on the Bourse
    will think they got the ears of the whole town here!”
    “Forget it, Cull,” broke in the anxious Redhead, “We may have a bigger problem, and I don’t
    know what it means
    “What’s that?”
    “When we were back in Saigon, did you ever hear of something or someone called Snake
    Lady?”
    “I heard a hell of a lot about snake eyes,” chuckled Parnell, “but no Snake LadyWhy?”
    “The fellow I was just talking to—he’s going to call back in five minutes—sounded as though
    he was threatening meI mean actually threatening me, Cull! He mentioned Saigon and implied
    that something terrible happened back then and repeated the name Snake Lady several times as if I
    should have run for cover
    “You leave that son of a bitch to me!” roared Parnell, interrupting“I know exactly what that
    bastard’s talking about! This is that snotty bitch first assistant of mine—that’s the fuckin’ Snake
    Lady! You give that slug worm my number and tell him I know all about his horseshit!”
    “Will you please tell me, Cull?”
    “What the chanel earings hell, you were there, RedheadSo we had a few games going, even a few mini
    casinos, and some clowns lost a couple of shirts, but there was nothin’ soldiers haven’t done since
    they threw craps for Christ’s clothes! We just put it on a higher plane and maybe tossed in a few
    broads who’d have been walkin’ the streets anywayNo, Redhead, that elegant-ass, so-called
    assistant thinks she’s got somethin’ on me—that’s why she’s goin’ through you, ’cause everybody
    knows we’re buddiesYou tell that slime to call me and I’ll settle his grits along with that bitch’s
    twat! Oh, boy, she made a wrong move! My Wall Streeters are in and her pansies are out!”
    “Okay, Cull, I’ll simply refer him to you,” said the Redhead, otherwise known as the vice
    president of the United States, as he hung up the phone
    It rang four minutes later and the words were spat out at Parnell“Snake Lady, Culver, and we’re
    all in trouble!”
    “No, you listen to me, Divot Head, and I’ll tell you who’s in trouble! She’s no lady, she’s a
    bitch! One of her thirty or forty eunuch husbands may have thrown a few snake eyes in Saigon and
    lost some of her well-advertised come-and-take-me cash, but nobody gave a shit then and nobody
    gives a shit tiffany jewelry canada

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